Perspective and Suburbia…

So now that you are up to speed, let’s talk a bit about the process of going from our Pleasantville scenario to full time RV living! We relocated from Atlanta to be closer to my family due to health concerns. We researched a ton of areas to determine what was close to family, had access to an airport so I could continue my job, and had something to offer us as when we decided to start our family.

Having worked in advertising my whole career, I must admit I’m a sucker for really good advertising! This place had it all! A water park, trails, playgrounds, dog parks, grocery stores, restaurants and close to the intercoastal and beach! What else could one want?! Yeah…that’s what we thought too!

We worked with one of the top builders and built a beautiful home. Of course everyone always thinks you should go bigger and better, but we had at least learned at this point in life that we didn’t need some McMansion. However, we still ended up with more space than we needed for newlyweds with no children. We spent so much time decorating all of these rooms, enclosed our “bonus room”, and oh the landscaping!! We wasted so much time and energy on the darn yard! We wanted privacy so we added loads of bamboo. You see when you are chasing external happiness, the desires are never fulfilled. You could get all the bamboo in the world and it’s still never enough. The striving continued. It’s like a disease. More of this, more of that, and on and on.

When you both work full time, who actually has time to maintain the home? We had someone to clean the house and someone to maintain the lawn. This still didn’t buy us more time together like we wanted. There is always something with a house (even a brand new one) that sucks you dry of all of your time. After a long work week, who has the time or energy to enjoy all these amenities that sucked you in in the first place?

We went to the waterpark a handful of times in 4 years which was certainly not enough to cover the fees we paid to have access to it in the first place. It probably would have been more fun if we had a child back then. The last place I wanted to be after traveling all week for work is at a busy waterpark where you could barely read a book in peace. My husband worked outside in the heat and being out at the pool sounded dreadful to him. We were trapped in this place of wanting life to be what it wasn’t. It was this dream of some amazing lifestyle that, to me, is impossible if you don’t get your life in order. We had so many things competing for our time and energy that we had no time to actually dive into this amazing life we had fantasized about. We had to untangle.

I’m sure we could have stayed there and made it work, but for us moving to a smaller home in a simpler neighborhood made more sense. That was the direction we were thinking would be right for us. We were over the HOA. Of course we as pleasers were always compliant, but the petty conversations on NextDoor and Facebook groups about parking on the street, speeding, and pink flamingos in people’s lawns was a bit much for me. People smiled when you were out walking the dog, then lashed out at one another on social media. I was always thinking about the bigger picture in the world like starving children or the environment, and the neighborhood is discussing someone’s lawn fails with great passion. Priorities gone wrong! We needed a change.

As many of you know, my husband is from Europe. The whole suburbia concept was feeling bizarre to me as a homegrown American. Can you imagine how he felt? It created a ton of tension because I was trying so hard to make it work and he didn’t like it there at all. Everything about it just felt fake, but I am not one to give up, so I tried harder and harder. Finally, we had to address the strain that it was creating in our marriage.

Feeling depleted after trying too hard, we worked towards our next step. After binge watching so many YouTubers that were doing full time RVing, watching videos about the Tiny House Movement, and Off Grid living, we made the decision to at least get an RV. We both love nature and wanted to get out of this trap we had created for ourselves. We made this big decision about 20 days after our son was born. I personally didn’t think it was the right time, but sometimes we must compromise. We both had parental leave so we would embark on a journey to TN, IL, and MI.

My hormones were all over the board and our son was a poor sleeper, so it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows; however, we DID come to an agreement on being able to enjoy life with less. That wasn’t new to my husband who had more humble beginnings and grew up in a small space. In many ways he inspired me to do more with less, but I am super stubborn so I still fought him on it.

At that time we had a 31 ft travel trailer that you pull behind an SUV or small truck. It was cute and comfortable. It had a queen bed for us, a dinette, a pull out sofa and queen bunk beds. It was perfect for us, our son, and our dog. We saw how living in a smaller space made daily life more manageble. There wasn’t this giant space to clean and by having a smaller space, it pushes you to be outside more. I found myself laying in the hammock, lounging on a chair, looking at the stars, and just feeling generally more relaxed. Life felt easier.

After our journey, there wasn’t much time left before we went back to work from our parental leave. We were so grateful for that time together as a family. We gained so much perspective. Life “back at home” didn’t feel homey to us anymore. We knew it was time to make a change. We started looking into other areas to move that weren’t too far from family, but where we could have more property. Nothing seemed to feel like the right next move for us. We prayed about it and really felt that going full time RVing was our answer.

Once we made the decision, it moved so fast! We didn’t even list our home and it sold overnight! The buyer wanted to buy our furniture, her agents wanted some too, and for everything else there was Facebook Marketplace! I am still astonished to this day just how quickly we parted with all of our belongings. All that time we spent aquiring them and then in a matter of weeks we were rid of it ALL. In some ways it was flattering that people liked our stuff enough to want to buy it and in other ways it was sad. Sad that we had wasted so much of our precious energy on all this “stuff” for so long.

We spent many nights watching video reviews of the different options available to those wanting to live on the road. We narrowed it down and then went to see a few in person. We found it! We traded in the travel trailer for what’s called a 5th Wheel. A Grand Design Solitude. We really love it! We have a king bed, a residential refrigerator and shower, and our son has his own room with bunk beds. We even have 2 bathrooms. It’s not like we are roughing it in any way, but my goodness people really think we have gone mad for choosing this life.

It’s funny because we felt liberated. We feel life is more mangeable. How much more space do we actually NEED? When we need space, we go outside amongst the trees, birds, sunshine, and rainbows. That’s our space. Now when we think back to our old life in suburbia, we think THAT was crazy. A huge mortgage, CDD and HOA fees, 2 car payments, subscriptions to so many things, the maid, the lawn care guy, all the distractions, and all the other commitments that didn’t bring us any closer as a family. All to have a life that looks perfect on the surface, but was decaying on the inside. It seems as a society we are more concerned with the outwardly things then really digging deep within. When we make decisions that start to untangle all of these old patterns, we start making steps towards a life we can be proud of. What baby step can you take today towards the life you really want?