Content with less…

We talked a bit about perspective last time. We all have our own lens in which we view the world. Experiences we have in life tend to shift the way we see things. I have always had a zest for experiencing new things and a strong desire to travel. I am grateful for friends that encouraged that.

I have had the honor of traveling to over 20 different countries. I don’t say this to brag, but when you have an opportunity to see things through different culture’s eyes it changes you. You see that there are many other ways to go through everyday life. Seeing that perhaps your old lens doesn’t fit your new view is really powerful. For me it was life changing.

The strongest impact travel has had on me is seeing how so many people live with less and are much more content than most Americans I know. The more I saw this, the more I started to question my life. I truly believe a big portion of our experience in life is derived from our choices so I started looking at my life and analyzing what areas didn’t align with the life I wanted. I had a strong desire to be more content.

I was raised with positive quotes and to see the glass as half full. In fact, the only poster I was allowed in my room growing up was one with a Zig Zigler quote, “your attitude determines your altitude.” It is true that the way we think and approach life determines our experience. That shaped how I approached life.

Just like most of us, society programmed me to think if you make good grades, go to college, get your degree, get a great job, make money, buy a home, and get a fancy car, then happiness just happens. The striving started way back then. Although I wasn’t conscious of it at the time. I am certainly not saying these things are bad. However, if we are seeking to be content we won’t find it there. It’s an inside job.

It was also so much easier then to tie my actions to my accomplishments, especially since I worked in revenue generating roles.  This me really feel that I was in control.  Every year I had a new little journal that I would write my goals in and refer back to often. When I reached a goal, nothing gave me greater pleasure than to check it off the goal list. Of course, your choices and actions  do control your destiny to a certain degree, but there’s more to it than that.

Make a certain amount of money, save another amount, buy a condo, get this certain car, the list went on and on. I think it finally hit me when I moved to Atlanta. I had achieved all these things I wanted, yet felt this incredible loneliness. I actually chuckled out loud in one moment because I was sitting on the 17th floor of the highrise I just had to have making six figures like I sought out to do and yet still I wasn’t really happy. I remember thinking to myself, what now??

I’m not trying to toot my own horn, but you can see how this is concerning, right? 27 years old and from the outside looking in this is success! Right, but worldly success doesn’t equal joy and contentment. As it goes in life we have circumstances that happen that cause us to reevaluate things.

I was on an amazing vacation to St. Thomas and we were on a boat going to St. John’s and long story short, I ended up shattering my knee. Of course, it had to be my right one. No driving for quite some time. I had often thought to myself, “you need to slow down…you’re living a very fast life.” However, I just kept pursuing at a very intense pace. The knee accident was the one that stopped me in my tracks though.

I had just moved into the 3 story townhouse I had built for little old me and I was terrified to go home from the hospital because of all the stairs. So I parked my behind on the couch. I slept and ate there, did my physical therapy, and then had plenty of time to think about life.

The lists I made from that moment on changed. I added spiritual goals to the list. I knew that the nightlife needed to slow down. Don’t get me wrong, it was all fun for a certain period of time. After awhile though it was just empty and predictable. I was striving for substance.

When you all the sudden change, the people around you notice and not all of them like it. People lost their party girl buddy and I lost friends over it all. So then I threw myself into yoga, meditation, healing seminars, metaphysical books, you name it! Everything I do in life, I tend to overdo. I learned so much and cherish it all. Still though, I wasn’t ‘happy.’

This ebb and flow of striving and slowing down continued for several more years. I can’t say it was a specific moment, moreso a cilmination of life experiences that made me finally wake up and realize that I was chasing happiness outside of myself. I was hoping my circumstances would make me happy.

So let’s get back to traveling and being content with less. That’s what really sealed the deal. I would see people sitting on tiny little patios with plastic furniture that didn’t match and they would just sit, drink their coffee, chat for hours, read the paper, etc. and they were so content doing so!

What?! You mean high income, nice cars, big homes, riding in corporate jets, $100,000 a plate charity functions, pensions, and all the accomplishments in the world don’t equal this bliss??? Now listen, you can’t just change overnight. You have to untangle it all. Like peeling back the layer of the onion. Figuring this out rocked my world in not such a great way because it meant that all that I had been programmed to think was B.S. and that was a hard pill to swallow.

I am still untangling more each and every day. I would never go back and change any of it. Every piece of the journey helped shape me into the woman I am today. I suppose with my particular experiences, it makes it easier to walk away from the old life. When you don’t have it, you want it badly because we are made to think that all of those things will make your world go round. I don’t miss the fancy cars. In fact, we now drive one car…or shall I say big truck! Another thing I never thought I would have!

As I share all of this, my hope is that it helps or inspires someone. Whether you’re in the early stages of your career or you’ve just retired, YOU are who you have to live with the rest of your life. Make sure that person is someone you want to be stuck with forever. <3

Much love! Here in North Carolina they have started to reopen things. Until next time, stay safe!