But how???

I’ve shared our journey and why we are doing it, but didn’t get too much into the how which I think is important.  It’s easy to see where someone is today and think, “I could never do that” or to think they just have been given an easier life.  The truth is that you can do it too.  Our life is a sum of all of our choices. If we want something different, we have to choose differently.

I am fortunate that I’ve had supportive family, friends, mentors, bosses, colleagues, and advisors over the years. Each played a critical part in this journey at a particular moment in time.  I’m sure you have someone in your life right now that is a great listener or dreamer, a great planner or creative mind, a great encourager or devil’s advocate.  These people are in your life for a reason and often are the ones who help us realize our dreams.

It is said that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. This couldn’t be more accurate. Often times there are teachers all around us, but if we turn a blind eye or remain closed off we don’t learn.  My biggest piece of advice is to stay open, to be inquisitive, and to continually learn, grow, and evolve.  I have always sought out learning opportunities and by engaging in them I have evolved into a much different, stronger human being.

I look back at all of my ‘teachers’ and often chuckle because I wasn’t always a willing participant. Sometimes I was quite stubborn. In fact, the one that pops in my mind right now is when I went on a spiritual retreat to Moab, Utah.  It was on the topic of surrendering. Come on, we all know what it means to surrender intellectually and by definition, right? Yeah, but the concept of actually doing it infuriated me at the time. I just couldn’t let go.

The teacher led us on a hike up to Delicate Arch in Arches National Park and stopped us at a juniper tree and showed us how half of the tree was dead while the other was very vibrant and alive. Well, the dead part surrendered itself so the other could live. Beautiful image and story, right?! Yeah, I thought so too, but how the heck do I do that?!?!

Putting things into practical application is the hardest part. To do so, we must be open as we discussed, but we also have to be willing to take action. The instructor had shared how he sold everything and moved to Moab to write music. He had been in IT with a bright career in Chicago. Now he was hiking, taking naps on rocks along the way, and writing music.  I just couldn’t wrap my head around how that was possible. At that time (2009) as I’ve shared before, I was so heavily wrapped in my career, earning money, climbing the ladder, investment condos, etc. that this seemed utterly impossible.

Of course now I get it. We did the same thing, albeit 10 years later! I’m stubborn, remember?! 😊 At that time though, he really was just planting the seed. If we nurture the seed it will grow into something amazing.  We are seeing that right now as we plant new seeds in our raised beds and transplant our seedlings. Everything has to start somewhere, doing something, no matter how small.

Early in my career I met a very eloquently persistent woman who became my mentor, then my dear friend. She nudged me to save money. She would ask me every time we spoke, “did you sign up for your company’s 401k yet?” and “When are you going to buy your first condo?” or ” When are you going to get your passport?” All of these awesome questions! She would never let me off the hook! If she hadn’t nudged me, I likely would’ve spent every dime I made on designer handbags, fancy cars, and expensive beauty products since that’s what I was into back in my early 20s. I still had fun, trust me! However, I made sure to not spend it all. Enjoy, but save something!  She planted the seed early for me and I know had she not we wouldn’t have been able to do what we are doing today.

This is one really important piece of the puzzle. If you spend every penny that you earn, you will never get ahead.  Now I know what you’re thinking…”my circumstances are different, you wouldn’t understand.” I call BS. We all have a certain amount of money that comes into our bank account.  At times we may not be able to control (or it may seem we can’t) the amount coming in, but I assure you that you can control what you spend.

This same friend would get on my about my coffee obsession. She taught me the latte factor.  So let’s start there. If you don’t love your life and you want it to be different, we have to choose different, right? How much joy does that $5 cup of coffee really bring you? Let’s do some math… (not my expertise, but when it comes to money I seem to figure it out! 😂) 1 cup of coffee a day, 5 times a week is $25. Take that, multiply it by the weeks in most months and you see that you are now spending $100 a month on COFFEE!! Wow, right?

You have to take inventory of every penny that’s coming in and going out. You will start to see places you can cut if you’re honest and diligent.  Fast forward a bit and I backtracked a bit on spending and had to reevaluate my expenses. Netflix, Amazon, Thrive, Bark Box….I was a subscription addict! I looked for areas that had overlap.  For example, we get movies and TV with Amazon.  Why do we also need Netflix? We may want it, but do we need it? Do they bring us joy??? Nope! We cut the cord on cable and also cut Netflix, Thrive, and Bark Box.

Another key piece of this puzzle is to continue to save as you earn more.  Again, I’m lucky I had people teaching me these things early on in life because it gives you a head start. When factoring in compound interest when investing money, the sooner you start the longer it has a chance to compound and grow. 

I had an awesome financial planner that taught me to Fluff my FUF. What is that you say? Fluff – invest in and FUF is your F. U. Fund. This is a fund you set aside and work to grow so that one day you can say F U, if it gets to that point,  because you have 6 months to a year of money saved up that covers your living expenses.

How do we fluff it? All the striving we talked about payed off back then because I was able to earn well. When I got a promotion or a merit increase at work, he encouraged me to take the difference between what I was making and the new amount and just put it away each month. I had it automatically drafted out of my account so that I wasn’t tempted to spend it.  You’ve heard advisors say to pay yourself first. That’s what they mean. Put the money away first and when you don’t see it, it’s like it was never there. Keep doing this over time and watch it grow.

We set very specific goals and benchmarks in terms of what to save by when and he showed me what that meant for me later in life if I made the sacrifices early on in my career.  I still spent money, but had he not taught me these principles I am almost certain I would have spent most of it. Our society teaches us to get the bigger house and car as we earn more. I am not saying you shouldn’t reward yourself. The question  remains though…does that stuff bring you joy? For most, the answer is no. I’ve asked many people from different walks of life and they all agree that those things aren’t what brought them the joy they were seeking in life.

I certainly got caught up with the Joneses, it’s hard not to do so, but thankfully because that saving muscle had been built, I was only spending money after I had saved.  It’s so rewarding to watch it grow. For me, even though I had saved, I still had a great deal of fear about walking away from my career. I had considered it for some time. The thought of not having corporate health insurance and a more than stable salary kept me in shackles.  That has more to do with my own issues than anything.

Here are the steps I would take to feel one step closer to your dreams. Create a budget if you haven’t.  Detail what you are spending your money on and be honest. Look at credit card transactions, look at subscriptions and things that get drafted automatically. They are designed for you to forget about them even if you aren’t using them. You pay, they earn. You’re fluffing their FUF!!

Now get the chopping block ready! What things can you eliminate? You can start small. Maybe it is just Hulu or maybe it’s getting just 1 pedicure a month. Do you really NEED 2 or can you survive with just 1? When you get aggravated with the way life is going for you, does that pedicure move you closer or further away from a more ideal life?

Now that you’ve eliminated some things, you’ll see you’ve freed up some cash. Resist the urge to spend it! Setup an automatic deduction or a transfer to an investment or savings account.  The investment account will grow so much faster, but the savings account is super safe so you don’t feel nervous.  I opted for an investment account. Now you start paying yourself… first!

This doesn’t happen over night. It takes discipline, but over time it becomes a habit. By sacrificing a bit here and there, you end up creating the life you want. Otherwise, you’ll have all the stuff you want, the bills that go along with said stuff, and will die with the dream still inside of you.

What one thing can you do today to get you closer to your dreams???