Type E?

Type E: EVERYTHING to Everyone, Except for YOUrself.   Hard pill to swallow, huh? Yep, for me too.  I had the honor of being a part of a group that was about this Type E Woman. This was over 15 years ago and as much as I’d like to say I have mastered not being this way, that would be a lie. In fact, being this Type E Woman has been a part of who I am. It’s hard to let “her” go.

She was the one who always responded to calls, emails, texts, or anything really, almost immediately. She cared deeply. She put their needs before hers. She lost sleep worrying about others. She rarely knew how to stop to care for herself.  Yes, this was and unfortunately is still me.

In my career, this was what made me successful. Always responsive and genuinely concerned for the needs of those around me. I’m not saying caring for others is bad.  What I am saying is that when you do this in lieu of caring for your own needs, you become depleted. Eventually, it burns you out and can make you resentful. Which is what it did to me.

It is so hard to unpack this and let this part of you go.  Everyone always told me that when you have children your life changes. I have found so far that all of these cliches are very true.  I see now that all of what I pour into my child each day is the energy I poured into my career for so many years and nothing makes me more proud. I love being a mom. What I do wish though, is that I had made self-care a priority long ago.

Many of us women feel guilty taking care of our own needs. However, if we’ve learned anything from this pandemic, it’s that slowing down is critical. When people used to tell me to sleep when the baby sleeps I would cringe. I would think about all the things I needed to do and didn’t take advantage of that advice. Instead, I ran myself into the ground checking items off my to-do list. That’s what made me proud then. Now when he sleeps, I try to rest as well. I’m still working on not feeling guilty about it though.

We have prioritized tasks and responsibilities in our society so much that it’s detrimental to our health. I know so many moms that are absolutely burnt out. It’s almost as if this is the norm and we don’t think there is an alternative.

We have to take inventory of our energy. What are you giving time and energy to? Where can you carve 10 minutes here…20 minutes there out for yourself? Whether it’s to journal, listen to a podcast, or just daydream, it’s so critical to our well being to have moments for YOUrself.

So now I do respond to things, but never before I take care of my family and I first. I still care for others deeply, but am finally learning to care for me too. I hope you’ll find some time for your beautiful soul today too. ❤️