Decluttering

When we talk about decluttering, most people’s first thought is that of clearing out their closets. In fact, the definition according to the Oxford dictionary is, ” remove unnecessary items from (an untidy or overcrowded place).” While this is a part of what I mean, decluttering isn’t just removing these physical things. For us, it ranged from decluttering our schedules to our minds, our spending, our friends, our jobs, and of course our “stuff.” The biggest move we made was selling our home and pretty much everything in it. We wanted to spend more of our time on experiences not maintaining a home. It seemed we spent the vast majority of our time working to pay bills for stuff we really didn’t want or need.

Having a baby certainly seemed to amplify all of this for us. We wanted to provide a different life for our son. We bought an RV when our he was born and loved camping and life on the road. It slowed time down for us and provided a sense of togetherness. So we decided to sell everything and go full time RVing! The process to get there was NOT easy. It wasn’t the letting go of “stuff” that was hard, but realizing how much stuff we actually had and then all of the steps necessary to finally be free from it all. We actually considered ourselves minimalists before all of this. However, when going through each room, we realized just how much stuff we were holding on to for some time. Between our realtor, Facebook Marketplace, and Swip Swap we successfully sold pretty much everything in our house. The rest was left to be sifted through to see what we would keep or donate. We made Goodwill rich, that’s for sure!! 🙂

I was always told that no is a complete sentence and that was the next part of decluttering for us. We said yes to so many things that our life was speeding by us way too fast and we didn’t have much time left over for the things that were more meaninful. We started getting more intentional with our “yeses” and made sure that we weren’t running ragged all the time. This, of course, is not very easy; especially when you are professional pleasers! Not wanting to disappoint people or worrying about how we were perceived was a huge hurdle to overcome…especially for me. One step at a time…or shall I say one no at a time, is how we got there.

As we started saying no to more things, we realized just how much money we were spending on things that didn’t move our family in the direction we wanted to go. Decluttering spending is so important. Financial worries are the ones that keep you up at night. Will we have enough for our sons education? Will we have to work forever to provide health insurance and to be able to retire? As you start to look at all the little things….they add up! Cable, Netflix, Amazon Prime, Spotify, TJ Maxx, BOGOs, etc. So the chopping began. We cut cable. We cut Netflix. We stopped shopping for “stuff” we just didn’t need and that was only good for the current trend. Guess what? We don’t miss ANY of it!

The hardest part for me personally has been decluttering friends. Even typing that it makes my stomach hurt because it sounds so cold. I had so many people in my life that I was trying to keep up with. At the end of the day the vast majority of them did not have time to invest in our friendship. I found myself giving and giving and then feeling hurt. We all certainly have different seasons we go through in life. Friendships ebb and flow. I’m not talking about that waxing and waning, but the acquaintances we come across when we move to a new place, for example, that we try to hard to get to know and form bonds with. I put so much energy into “that” stuff and it depleted so much of my available energy that I had little left over to give to those who really cared about me. That’s the stuff that’s hard to swallow. I never want to hurt anyone or feel like I’m abandoning anyone, but I did have to spend less of my energy with those that just didn’t have the time or desire to invest in our friendship. Being a new mom really forced me to do this. Our sweet boy has never been a good sleeper. So when you are sleep deprived you have very limited resources at hand. I had to dial back from so many social things that I once attended. The true friends remain and I am forever grateful for their love and understanding as I navigated through motherhood, being a good wife, and balancing that with a demanding career.

The next thing I want to touch on, and not in any particular order, is decluttering jobs. We both had successful careers that we had been working in for nearly 20 years. Guess what happens in 20 years?? You GROW. You CHANGE. You MOVE ON. It started with me leaving the company I never thought I’d leave. It was amazing for so many years, until it wasn’t a good fit for me anymore. I moved on. The same for my amazing husband. He had been in the same industry his whole life. The sport was his passion, but the “job” part of it became increasingly more challenging physically and mentally. So he moved on too. We barley saw each other when we were both working. It was like two ships crossing in the night. We knew when we had our son something had to change. Was taking this next step for either of us easy…HECK NO! However, you can’t get different results in your life if you keep doing the same things that don’t work over and over. You have to EVOLVE. We continue to do this every day.

Fast forward to living in this “tiny” space. You’d think we would miss our 2500 sq ft house, but guess what? You guessed right…we don’t. In fact, we find ourselves continuing to declutter. In a smaller space you have more togetherness. Overall, it is so much better for us. However, it did take some adjusting. I work from home so having a quiet place to work is important. We made an area in the bedroom my “office” and it’s worked out really well. Being on the road in our RV hasn’t been all sunshine and roses. I travel for work and while traveling for life has been fun, it doesn’t always work well with the work travel schedule. We haven’t been able to do all the things we wanted to do. However, what we have had is more TIME together. We have had so many more experiences TOGETHER. So we continue to declutter all these areas of our lives.

What step can you take today to declutter one of these areas in your life?